ok everyone is looking for love in life right? we all want that special someone who makes us feel special. well, looking for love is very different when you grow up in a broken home. one where you were rejected by your biological father, and molested by family members... so how do you find love when all you know is how wrong feels? idk... this has been my dilemma for many years but as of recently ive realized that i cant discover real honest love myself. someone has to be brave enough to show me and let me feel it. idk if the person im involved with now is that person but i hope one day my knight in shining armour will rescue me.

So school is about to start again. Im happy to be going back. I think i've finally gotten myself under control and it feels kinda nice. I write alot of stupid things when im venting and i go back and read them and feel like an a$$ lol but today is just a simple pleasant hello. i'm happy with how life is going right now even tho im stressed beyond belief. you know financial issues and what not but ive gotten over some big hurdles this summer. losing a job finding another. losing the car getting it back. no money for school school is paid for. how to get books books have been bought. so now its just the little things like figuring out how to buy a parking permit ugh. but anywho im so glad that im getting on track. no more boy drama and im really finally content to being by myself and im not wondering what if with anyone. only i really still have some strings attached to my ex but im working thru them. hey you give someone your all and its hard to get it all back. but im working on it. oh and the baby is fine even tho she is in her annoying stage.  and my mother is still my mother the shop-a-holic that she is.... but all in all i cant really complain. im still doing me and living my life the way i want to live it. and tho i have some nay sayers and opposers to how im living i could care less. my life is blessed and if they cant understand well bump them.  oh the newest development in my life ive joined this great poetry site and im so in love with it. the poets on it are fabulously talented and really giving of themselves. im so in love... with me! no not really lol just with wat ive found in myself again and the writing ive discovered again. its always the piece of you thats goes missing thats turns your world upside down but im glad ive found it again. well until next time.  much love!